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FOR PARENTS: 7 Things to Do When Your Kids Open Up about Being Bullied in School

Regardless of your children’s age, sex and grade level, they might experience bullying in school. If your kids speak to you about it, you are given the chance to help them because most bullied kids choose to hide and keep it while suffering. 

Some may think it’s “just” teasing for fun, especially when people around laugh and think that nothing’s wrong, but BULLYING IS A NO-NO. It is a big and displeasing problem that is present in schools all over the world. 

Bullying comes in many forms, and it happens not only once but more times. It could also be habitually or daily done by the bullies in school. Take note that it is with intent and violence. Bullying is distressing. It causes health problems and lowered self-esteem. Bullied kids surely need support regarding this because if no one will act to stop it, bullying will keep happening, and more kids will be miserable. 

One of the biggest blockages in fixing some issues of bullying is the bullied kids’ keeping quiet about their struggles. This is very alarming, and if your kids are like that, you should really do something for them to trust and rely on you, so you can rescue them. 

Meanwhile, though it rarely happens, some bullied kids actually gather the courage to uncover the bullying that they experience. Although the news is saddening and maddening to know, in a way, it’s a relief that they are open to speak up. What you should know next is that some parents do not know what to do when that happens. Some misunderstand and tend to act wrongly regarding the bullying matter which results in more problems and unhelpful measures.

If your kids are being bullied in school, and they disclose it to you, here are some ways you can guide and save them!

[1] ACKNOWLEDGE THE PROBLEM 

A serious reason why bullied kids do not talk about their situation is their parents’ lack of belief and recognition that bullying really happens. 

The first vital thing to make a move against bullying is by acknowledging that it is indeed a problem and that your kid is a victim of it. Parents need to be broad-minded. They have to make available and widen their understanding that bullied children are tainted by the destructive behaviors and treatment by bullies in school.

Bullying is deliberate. It happens when kids use their power, state, position and other factors to consider themselves dominant over other kids to control and pain their targets. Bullying could be physical which includes hitting and punching. It could be verbal like name-calling and abusive speech. It could be excluding someone from the group, spreading rumors and racial discrimination. The mentioned are just some in the vast range of bullying types.

[2] LISTEN TO YOUR KIDS

Unconcealing a bullying issue to their parents is difficult for most bullied children. If they tell you about it, they must have mustered up a tremendous amount of bravery to do so. It means they definitely need your assistance, so being a good listener should be your priority.

Be informed that bullying is not a joke, so if your children come to you to tell that they are being bullied by other kids in school, do not shoo them away. Do not invalidate their feelings. Do not say, “They might just be kidding and playing around.” That’s NOT comforting them. Rather, that makes them think that the terrible thing they are experiencing is OK too. They will keep putting up with it though it’s tough. Bullying won’t cease that way. 

In other cases, if you just ignore what they share, they will no longer open up to you about the challenges they are going through because of bullies. You will regret it, especially if they are experiencing threats and illnesses because of bullying.

Bullied kids need a person or people, whom they find security from, to release the heavy feelings and troubling thoughts that they have been quietly enduring. As their parents, they look up to you. They believe they can find refuge in you, so prove that they are not wrong. Having somebody who listens is an extravagant help to bullied children who are afraid to talk about bullying. 

[3] DO NOT BLAME THEM FOR BEING BULLIED 

A horrible way to react and respond to bullied children’s opening up about their condition is putting the blame on them.

You can ask how the situations of bullying are happening to your child, so you at least have an idea where it comes from and how it happens. BUT what you should avoid is telling them, “Maybe you did something wrong that made them tease you.” Mom and dad, that wrong move will make your kid who tried to ask help from you to step back away from you. It will make things worse. They will be reluctant to tell the truth.

If you ask them, “What did you do for them to bully you?” they might have a hard time to help themselves as they think whether or not they were the bad one and not the bullies. Remember, there’s no valid reason to bully anyone. Your child is the victim here, so don’t say anything that will make them feel like it’s their fault. That will just make them more anxious and secretive. 

[4] DO NOT COUNTERATTACK THE BULLY

There might be anger and hatred within parents towards those kids in school who bully their kids, but keep in mind that you should not act rashly. Think of what to do about it when you are calm and in the right state to make a decision. Do not conclude things when you are angry. That will make things complicated and take a nosedive. 

Think of ways that will enable you to solve the problem and to ease your children. Avoid getting into arguments with the parents of the bullies. Initiate a proper and non-judgemental conversation to hear both sides. What you will do is going to be the example for your kids with regards to how bullying must be addressed. Make sure you exhibit a good one. 

[5] CONVERSE WITH THEIR TEACHERS 

Since bullying occurs inside the school premises, your kids’ teachers are the first people you would think of approaching to discuss the issue. Yes, do that. 

As soon as your children tell you that they are being incessantly teased by one or more students, make your move. Do not wait for it to grow worse and to cause deeper wounds to your young ones. 

Immediately contact the teacher or the school itself if the bullying is a weighty concern beyond a single classroom. Speak with them without focusing on your hard feelings. They might not be aware of the bullying that’s happening because bullies do not display it. Tell them what your kids report and the impact of it on them. Ask them what steps they are taking to combat bullying issues.

The school must be highly concerned and quickly responsive regarding this problem because supervising the kids and ascertaining they learn well in a nourishing environment is their accountability as an educational institution. Being the second parents of students, they should stand for the bullied students and counsel the bullies to halt this dangerous hitch. 

[6] SUPPORT AND EMPOWER YOUR KIDS

Give your kids an unrelenting assurance that they have you on your side. The love and care you have for them keeps them going and believing that they do not deserve to be treated unfairly and harmfully by anybody, even by other kids of their age.

Let your bullied children believe, feel and see that you support them. Boost their healthy and wholesome self confidence. Aid them to make reliable friends and to continually be a good person. Empower them to be happier! Make them enjoy their childhood without having anyone stepping on them.

[7] SEEK LEGAL HELP WHEN NEEDED

Oftentimes, bullying can constitute losses, injuries, disturbances and traumatization to the victims. Unfortunately, it has various forms that inflict abuse and harassment. 

If the bullying over your kids reaches the point wherein you are driven to seek legal help, do not hesitate. There are lawyers working on matters such as this to investigate or file a legal case for school bullying. They can help you fight for your kids’ rights and safety. 

STOP BULLYING IN SCHOOL! 

Many kids grow up aloof, hesitant and distrustful because of their experience of being bullied in school. It negatively affects the wellbeing of children. They see themselves with regrets and lack of confidence. They tend to perform less in school, be uncomfortable and be isolated. They are highly prone to constant loneliness and depression. Worst, many harm themselves and take their lives because of it. 

Bullying is unwanted and unacceptable! It does nothing good. Hurts and traumas are what it brings. Kids who experience bullying at an early age should be assisted and encouraged, so they will know how to protect themselves from bullies. They should also know how to act when they see someone being bullied. Even at a young age, inspire your kids to put bullying to a stop as you show them how to.

AUTHOR BIO:

Nicole Ann Pore is a writer, an events host and a voice over artist. Travel, health, shopping, lifestyle and business are among the many subjects she writes about. Through quality and well-researched writing, she informs and even entertains readers about things that matter. She is also interested in film critiquing and filmmaking. Giving all the glory to God, Nicole graduated Cum Laude from De La Salle University Manila, Philippines with a Bachelor’s Degree in Communication Arts.

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